After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
