Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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