Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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