First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
