You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize