just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
