I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
