Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
