I just saw a hot homeless man
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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