Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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