you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
