I'm gonna have a badass scar
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
