Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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