ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize