I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
