I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I party with great urgency now.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
