If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
