Got a toothbrush?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
