Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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