Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
