we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
