If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
