It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize