So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
