Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
