idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
