I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
