Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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