just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
