Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just want to make out with him forever
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
