When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
