i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
my liver is dry heaving
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
