gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I will die if light touches me.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
