Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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