I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
