my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
