Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
