We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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