Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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