eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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