He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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