I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
