I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
