U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
