? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
