I'm lost and stupid without you.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If I die, sorry about rent.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
