Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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