I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
