Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
