pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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