I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
