i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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