thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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