she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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