Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
