I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
