We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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