Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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