Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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