Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
