it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
