So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
