Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
