ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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