your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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