I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
