I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
