Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize